Polygamy 1 , 2 & 3

Polygamy

part 1

Polygamy has become so mythical in the minds of many people that they
assume being Muslim means having four wives. This is a false notion, of
course. A very renowned anthropologist, Edward Westenmark, in his
two-volume work, "History of Human Marriage," notes that there has been
polygamy in virtually every culture and religion, including Judaism and
Christianity. But the point here is not to say, "Why blame Islam?"
Actually, Islam is the only religion even among Abrahamic faiths, that
specifically limited the practice of polygamy that existed before Islam
and established very strict conditions for guidance. The question, "How
could any man have two wives? That's terrible!" reflects ethnocentrism.
We assume that because we're living in the West and it seems strange,
and we assume it must apply to all cultures, all times, under all
circumstances. This simply isn't true. Let me give you one current-day
example. In the savage attack on Afghanistan, genocide was committed on
the Afghani people. It is estimated that 1-1.5 million people lost
their lives, a great majority of whom were men of a marriageable age.
Now, with a great shortage of men, what will happen to their widows,
their orphans and their daughters of marriageable age? Is it better to
leave them in a camp, with a handout? Or better a man is willing to
take care of his fallen comrade's wife and children?
It is obvious that monogamy is
the norm for Muslims. If we assume that having four wives is the norm,
then we assume a population of 80% female and 20% male, which is an
impossibility on the aggregate level. The only verse in the Quran that
speaks about polygamy, speaks about limiting not instituting polygamy.
The verse was revealed after the Battle of Uhud in which many Muslims
were martyred, leaving behind wives and children in need of support.
This verse shows the spirit and reason of the revelation.
The Quran placed obedience to parents immediately after worship of God.
3:14 "We commanded mankind to be kind to his parents," and then speaks
of the mother. In a very succinct statement, Prophet Muhammad, peace be
upon him, said, "Paradise is at the feet of mothers." Once a man came
to him and asked, "O, Messenger, who among mankind is worthy of my
kindness and love?" The Prophet answered, "Your mother." "Who next?"
"Your mother." "Who next?" "Your mother." Only after the third time he
said, "And your father."
As a sister in faith, in blood, we find the Quran speaks about men and women, that they should cooperate and Polygamy 1 , 2 & 3 Collapse_tcat

laborate
in goodness. Sura 9:17 speaks about men and women as supporters and
helpers of each other, ordaining the good and forbidding the evil,
establishing prayers and doing charity. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) echoed
what the Quran said, "I command you to be kind to women." In one of his
last commands in his farewell pilgrimage before his death, he kept
repeating, "I command you to be kind and considerate to women." In
another hadith, he said, "It is only the generous in character who is
good to women, and only the evil one who insults them."
On the question of attire, the
Quran and the sayings of the Prophet did not say women must adopt a
particular dress of a particular country. It only gives basic
boundaries, and for a committed Muslim woman, she doesn't follow this
simply because her father or husband tells her, but because Allah
already stated that as a requirement in the Quran, and was explained
through revelation given to Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, that
this was not to restrict woman, but to provide a virtuous society where
sexual attraction is not the main obsession of everyone. This forces
everyone to respect the woman for what she is as a human being, as an
intellectual and a spiritual being, rather than being diverted to her
sexuality.
Finally, a few words about
political involvement. The verse quoted earlier, Sura 9:17, which
speaks about men and women being supporters and helpers of each other
was taken by some jurists to mean that it involves also public life.
How could they ordain the good and forbid the evil without women being
active in the affairs of their society? According to the Quran, I'm not
talking about the practices of Muslims, in Sura 60:12, we read about
Muslim women making "bayyah" to the Prophet. Bayyah as an Islamic term
is somewhat analogous, to a degree, to what we would call an election,
or oath of allegiance. And that was given in his capacity not only as a
Prophet, but as a head of state, as he was already the head of state in
Medina.
.

In the most authentic Polygamy 1 , 2 & 3 Collapse_tcat

lection
of hadith, Hadith Bukhari, a section is devoted to the participation of
women, not only in public affairs, but in the battlefield, too, and not
only as logistical support. Women carried arms, and when there was
great danger to the Muslims, they volunteered to participate even in
the battlefield.
The problems presented here
are not the problems of Islam. They are problems of a lack of
commitment, lack of application, or misapplication of Islamic teachings
by Muslims themselves. The topics I have tried to cover here represent
and exemplify the big gap that exists between the true teachings of
Islam as derived from its original sources and its projected image in
the West and the way some Muslims behave in the disregard of those
noble teachings.
There's no question that the
Western media has played an important role in perpetuating these
misconceptions. But in fairness, we should not blame the media alone.
Western culture, in writings about other religions, in particular
Islam, have distorted images. From books, novels, even in the academic
circle, and sermons from the pulpit in places of worship, these kinds
of prejudices are perpetuated.
There are fair and honorable
people in the media who are receptive to correction of inaccuracies,
and who present the facts, when the facts become manifest, as we have
seen in the coverage of the barbaric and cruel treatment of the
Palestinians n the Oc Polygamy 1 , 2 & 3 Cup

ied
Territories. What I would suggest to the media is instead of depending
on the distorted information about Islam, they should keep in touch
with educated Muslims, and remember, the U.S. has between 5 and 6
million Muslims. Only through correct representation and open
communication with Muslims in America can the media give a fair
analysis of current events, given the background of those conflicts,
and provide a great service to society.

from Islam tomorrow

Polygamy part... 2

Bismillah, Al Hamdulilah, was salat was salam ala rasoolullah. Allahu 'Alim. (It is Allah who has All Knowledge).

First of all, let us do some basic research here:

A: Read surah An Nisa - all the way through. Then think about the verses.

Do you believe that Allah Knows what He created and He has revealed the perfect 'deen'?

Do you know the condition of the people at the time the order came to restrict the number of wives? (Restricted to only four)

BEFOR ISLAM Men used to bury their daughters alive in the sand, out of shame for having something so low instead of a son.

Women were treated horribly with disgust.

Men could marry as many as they liked and often owned women like cattle or sheep.

There were no laws to protect the women and they had no rights at all.

Christians at that time were holding council meetings to determine whether or not a woman even had a soul.

The
church blamed "Eve" the mother of all humans after Adam, peace be upon
him, for the "original sin" and damned her and her seed for what she
had done. (Islam does not blame Eve for Adam's sin. Each of them
accepted their own mistake and repented to Allah and Allah did forgive
them)

Women were blamed by the Jews for the "original sin" and as such they were treated with disgust.

A woman's monthly cycle was considered by the Bible to be a "curse from God" for her inequities.

Her child bearing pains were also a 'punishment from God' for her bringing man down from heaven.

Now read the verse very carefully about having more
than one wife. [4:3

وَإِنْ
خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم
مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ
تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى
أَلاَّ تَعُولُواْ(3)

What does it say? And what do you understand from it
It means....And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly with the
orphangirl, then marry other womenof your choice two or three, or four,
but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them
then one ,that is nearer to prevent you from doing injustic

Then read the ayah the forbids men to marry women who are already married. [4:24

وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ
مِنَ النِّسَاء إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ كِتَابَ اللّهِ
عَلَيْكُمْ وَأُحِلَّ لَكُم مَّا وَرَاء ذَلِكُمْ أَن تَبْتَغُواْ
بِأَمْوَالِكُم مُّحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُم
بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً وَلاَ جُنَاحَ
عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا تَرَاضَيْتُم بِهِ مِن بَعْدِ الْفَرِيضَةِ إِنَّ
اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيماً حَكِيماً

it means

Also
(prohibited are) women already married, except those whom your right
hands possess: Thus hath Allah ordained (Prohibitions) against you:
Except for these, all others are lawful, provided ye seek (them in
marriage) with gifts from your property,- desiring chastity, not lust,
seeing that ye derive benefit from them, give them their dowers (at
least) as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree
Mutually (to vary it), there is no blame on you, and Allah is
All-knowing, All-wise.

Now read from An Nisa about the role of men and women. [4:34

الرِّجَالُ
قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى
بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ
حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ
نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ
وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ
سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراً(34)[

Men
are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given
the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them
from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient,
and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.
As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct,
admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last)
beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against
them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you
all).

Men and women are not the same

They are equal in their beliefs and good deeds of course. But still they are not the same as each other.

Each one must fulfill their role as humans.

Islam is about rights.

and here some of the reasons why woman cant have more than one hasband

Children also have rights in Islam.

When
a man dies his wealth is left to his family. How could the court know
who to give the wealth of a man, if he was one of several husbands to a
woman?

How would a child know who his father was?

No
society ever supported the concept of a woman being married to two or
more men at the same time. Almost every society supported the concept
of a man having more than one woman.

Islam came to set things straight.

Women were given rights.

Men were strictly ordered to treat their women with the very best of treatment.

First
of all, the men had to divorce their wives, if they had more than four.
So this was not an order to go out and get four wives. It was an order
to begin limitations. And the first limitation was; No more than four.

Second,
the limitation of equal treatment for all of them. How could a man keep
more than one wife unless he was exceedingly wealthy and/or exceedingly
strong and virile?

Next,
the limitation very clearly states; ".. but if you fear that you shall
not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one ..."

Step by step, the men of Islam have come to be known today as the most monogamous of all men on earth. (we only have one wife)

Check
for yourself and see. In the majority of all the Muslim homes on earth,
a man gets married once, to one woman and then he stays married to her
until the death of either himself or his wife.

It
is strange isn't it, a society like America, that condones having sex
without marriage, homosexuality, same sex marriages, sex without
responsibility, children without fathers and divorces are more common
place than the measles or chicken pox, would be so concerned about the
way Islam demands that a couple be married, the man actually work
instead of the woman and the woman owns her own property without giving
anything for the support of the house or the child, a child has the
right to his or her own mother raising them instead of a baby sitter or
day care, father must support his children, divorce is hated, marriage
is sanctified.

Polygamy part 3

Another verse of the Quran says:
وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُواْ أَن تَعْدِلُواْ بَيْنَ النِّسَاء وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلاَ تَمِيلُواْ كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا
كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِن تُصْلِحُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً
it means
Ye are
never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your
ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to
leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly
understanding, and practise self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving,
Most Merciful

but in special circumstances Islam allows Polygamy...and these situations are :

when
a wife is barren and cannot bear children but the hasband wants
children, it is better to have a second wife than to divorce the barren
one. However, the barren wife has the choice to seek separation from
her hasband

If
the first wife is chronically ill and she is unable to carry out her
marital and household chores , the hasband may marry another woman and
thus help restore family stability.

and
as we said in part one that Polygamy may be the solution to the problem
of asociety which has more women than men . this happens especialy
after a war.

the proprtion of women to men increased considerably in the countries which took part in the first and second World Wars

A
solution to such asituation is marriage to more than one womanby those
who are able to and can be fair to each wife... this is better than
leaving a large number of unmarried
women

Islam strictly forbids any sexual relationship
outside marriage. there is no such thing as a mistress
in Islamic society

Islam has given dignity to women by mariege and has protected
them from exploitation of greedy and selfishmen

having more than one wife is better and more dignified than having a number of mistresses.
Islam holds you responsible for your action. you can not
just enjoy women and avoid the responsibilities
of fatherhood, this is inhuuman and unjust

There should be no one -parent families or illegitimate children in an ideal Islamic society

I implore Allah. my creater to accept my effort. Ibeg him to guid and help me to dedicate everything I have for his sake
May He pardon my countless Lapses and faver me
with His mercy and blessings

The sources

Islam tomorrow
the book of Islam Beliefs and teaching
Islam Q&A